Hello my beautiful friends,
just a little announcement to let you know that I am officially the neighbourhood "AVON" lady. Yes, it's true. After my longtime AVON rep moved out-of-the country, I was desperate, lonely, and downright blotchy. I decided I had to take matters into my own hands, and rather than pay shipping costs from Singapore, I've started my own AVON business. It's only been 5 days and guess what?? It's booming!! If things keep up like this, I'll be considering early retirement - but not before I spread the beauty word with all of my beautiful friends - because I want you all to remain beautfiul forever.
Now friends, I sincerely mean it when I say you are beautiful. Because you are - beautiful! However, our beauty must not be taken for granted, and we have to accept the fact that we won't have these beautiful faces forever. That being said, I highly recommend AVON's ANEW skincare products. So fabulous, they've been featured on Oprah on more than one occasion! Now Oprah has beautiful skin - and we can't just attribute it to her gene pool - she really has firm skin for a woman in her 50's! Check out her eye area - outstanding! I tell you, it's the ANEW skincare line from AVON.
I'm also excited to inform you all that now the AVON brochure can be viewed on-line - yes - online - (http://www.avon.ca/) much like the Victoria's Secret catalogue only without the large-busted, tiny waisted, no cellulite, lean and toned tanned models (they seriously piss me off). So if you hear a ding-dong at your door, please don't curse thinking it is I - your new AVON representative, it could be a canvasser for charity, a lost soul with a flat tire or very large abbsess in his back right molar, or a neighbour needing to borrow an egg or a cup of sugar. Now that AVON has moved into the 21st century, I won't have to intrude on you and your family - during dinner, bedtime, breakfast, or those intimate husband-wife moments, because you know me, my beautiful friends, I would never, ever even dream of being intrusive - ever.
To those beautiful friends that have caught me climbing their window sills, if only to sneak a peek at their new decor or 42" flatscreen Plasma tv's - forgive me, I will replace the Virginia Creeper vines as soon as the garden centre at Robinson's opens up.
To those beautiful friends who would like to receive their brochure the good old fashioned way,in the privacy of your home, over cake (no lemon please), a cup of fresh-brewed fair trade swiss-water decaf coffee, I will deliver it to you - at your convenience, I promise.
And finally, to those beautiful friends who now think they have to duck behind the aisles of the grocery store, post office, drugstore or bank, because I may approach them with my wares, no worries, I will be respectful, kind, patient, and above all, beautiful. I will graciously wait for you at your car with some samples and a couple of brochures for upcoming campaigns. Also, you may notice AVON car magnets on either one of your driver or passenger doors. No worries, they won't damage the paint one bit!
Remember beautiful friends - you are beautiful, no matter what anybody says.
Now I want you to march straight to the closest mirror, stare at your beautiful face for a moment, and repeat after me, "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"
Wow!! That felt great didn't it? I love doing this!
You know beautiful friends, I truly believe it is my purpose here on Earth, to make everyone feel beautiful, if only for a moment.....
I'm crying now beautiful friends, and thank God I'm wearing my AVON waterproof eyeliner and mascara.
By the way, lipsticks for under $5 (or 3 for $12). I'm losing sleep over this deal I'm telling you!!!
Bye for now,
much love and stay beautiful.
